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| Can you believe sugar-free cookies are often loaded with hydrogenated oils (trans fats that are really unhealthy)? The first ingredient listed on many sugar free cookies is vegetable shortening, which is a trans fat. |
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If your child is overweight—and 30 percent of children ages six to 16 are overweight or obese in the United States—it’s tough on both of you. As the adult, you’re probably aware of the increased health risks like heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes—no doubt, that’s got to weigh heavily on your mind. For your child, depending on how overweight he or she is, there might be problems participating in certain physical activities. Plus, the “fat” jokes he has to suffer through are no laughing matter—they can cause serious emotional problems in adolescence and adulthood.
 The first step to helping your child is opening the lines of communication. Start talking, directly but always without judgment. Your child knows he’s fat and the last thing you want is for him to take your concern as a put-down. You don’t want to damage your child’s self esteem any further. You do want him to know you love him no matter what.
When you’re talking to your child, be as positive as you can. Talk about getting healthy, not about losing weight or going on a diet. Not only does that set your child up for failure, it can lead to eating disorders down the line. I’m in favor of focusing on all the good foods your child can eat, not the ones he shouldn’t eat.
I’m not in favor of counting calories, just as I’m not for adults. In the case of children, they can feel too restricted and you may be starving them of nutrients they need. Instead, I recommend helping your child watch what he eats, and how much of it. It’s never too early to educate your child about nutrition—teach him to read food labels right along with you.
You can also make very subtle changes your child won’t even be aware of—they’ll give him a head-start on eating better and exercising more. Here are some ideas:
• Park your car further from your destination—walk, don’t ride. Take the stairs instead of the escalator or elevator.
• Better than eliminating dessert, plan on low-fat yogurt or a fruit dessert—this way, it won’t feel like something’s been drastically changed. On the other side of the coin, don’t eliminate your child’s favorite “cheat” altogether. If it’s appropriate, if all the other kids are getting an ice cream cone, let him have one, too. He needs to learn he can have an indulgence…on occasion.
• Ask your child to help with gardening, shoveling snow or cleaning out the garage. These are all physical activities he will regard as being normal “chores.”
• Start cooking with less fat, bake instead of fry and don’t keep tempting snack foods in the house (what child wouldn’t choose a cookie over a carrot…but if it’s not there, the choice is already made). Click here to learn more about snacks for kids.
• Instead of going to a movie on Saturday afternoon, go biking, hiking or skating…anything that requires movement.
• Call in the portion police—you allocate the snacks, and at mealtime you put the food on the plates rather than having everyone serve themselves.
• Substitute water for juice and soda, both of which pack a lot of sugar.
Just as I want adults to get a handle on their emotional eating before they make any significant changes to their activity level or diet, the same is true for kids. If your child is old enough, encourage him to keep a journal to better understand what triggers overeating (click here to learn more about journaling). If your child is too young, you take note of when, where, what, and how much he is eating—and try to understand what prompted the behavior. Sit down and gently explain the triggers, and then help by keeping your child away from those situations (like showing up at the pizza party after the meal). Or, if that’s impossible, you can come up with a strategy to help avoid the overeating (like packing a healthy snack, or asking the host to give your child a job during the meal so he won’t be sitting at the table long enough to overeat).
 Of course, you’ll want to help your child put more exercise in his life (click here for a list of dos and don’ts on exactly how to help your child become more physically active), and to make his diet healthier. In both cases, children benefit when changes in diet and exercise are made within the family structure. Active family weekends and vacations are fun (they’re not about “exercising;” they’re about the activity and bonding). Likewise, family meals provide quality time as well as an opportunity for you to watch what your child is eating—much better than letting him eat while watching TV! Plus, you can involve your child in planning the menu and preparing the food so he can begin to make healthy eating a natural part of his life. Something you want to avoid at the family table: Singling out your overweight child with a different menu.
Perhaps most important of all is that you do not “love” with food. If your child is upset, don’t soothe with food—that’s an obvious set-up for lots of emotional eating problems later. On the other hand, don’t reward good behavior, a great grade or a stellar performance on the piano with food. The real lesson is, eat to live, don’t live to eat.
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